Judge

Originally uploaded by ill-tempered

I judge.

A guy uses money like it is the least important thing in the world. He lost an iPod and bought a new model the next morning. His everyday shoes are gucci and he is the VIP member of most known luxury brands. He feels like going to Disneyland and there he is the next day…with an air ticket. He doesn’t earn money, but the money in his bank account never seems to run out. He drives a luxury car and will never wear a $10 jersey. Style is his life. He pampers himself, but no, he is not selfish. He pampers everyone around him too. He lives his life the way he wants it…but he is gentle with his family. He spends money on himself but he also spends it with everyone else. He treats studies and work as non-importance. He has no future plans. He live each day as it is. There is no need for him to plan.

What do you think of this guy???

I look at him and could not understand. ‘With no dreams, no plans… he is just wasting his life away”. A person who does not earn what he spends does not understand the significance of life. A person who does not appreciate what he is given does not deserve respect… regardless of how gentle he may be. He is not actually living.

These are my judgments. The judgement that makes me shallow as a human being.

Then, there is another guy…

He is not born with much. he works since the age of 8 and spends only one quarter of what he earns every week because he has to give the rest as family expenses. He goes to school, he has friends but he never goes out. He is too busy earning a living. He has high aims in life. He is determine to make a name for himself. He has a plan but he never mingles with people. He believes that money and status are the only elements that make the world goes round.

What do you think of this guy?

I am touched by his determination. Then, I feel sympathy towards him. Unconsciously, I have look at him as the ‘others’. ‘Isn’t he wasting his life away as well?” I ask myself. Being so focus on earning status and money, he has missed out the rhythms of everyday life. He is not actually living.

In both cases, I have failed to appreciate them as they are. I failed to understand that what I think of them is not how they think of themselves. In fact, both of them are living their lives to the fullest. Regardless of whether they are living by rationality, feelings, external forces or control, they are living it the way they feel it should be. How they choose to lead their lives should not be subjected to judgment. A criminal is judged because they have done harm to people, to society, to the planet. They have not. If convicts are given a chance to turn over a new leafs according to the law, what rights do we have to judge people for who they are (or perceived to be)?

Some people choose to lead life by always thinking of others, some choose to satisfy one’s needs before attending to others. Some people think that family and love should come first, others think that career and status drives family stability. Some people choose not to work, some have works as their lives. Some people need to live with a goal, some live without.

Just like how each jobs serve their own function in society, people’s distinct ways of lives create the rhythm of the earth. If how a person chooses to live his/her life does not correspond with yours, it does not make him/her lower or higher than you. you may not agree with his/her life but there is no right or wrong. It’s just different. By embracing this difference, we can find similarities.

Not judging is the most basic respect we can give for people….

Till today, I still lack this very basic form of respect.

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