From Dear Journal to dear blog. Hello, the world!

Dear Journal,

What a gloomy day today! I woke up thinking of breakfast but in the end, the calculative me gets the better of me and I decided to make my own meal instead of sitting in the café with my cup of coffee and eggs benedict….

Hidden in a drawer at the corner of my bedroom are stacks of diaries. Lying on my bed every night with my small bedside lamp, I wrote to my diary/journal about my day and what I was feeling. When I was in Primary school, I wrote about how sad I was for not getting the present I want, about not being as outstanding as my friends and not getting the attention I yearned for. When I was in Secondary School, I wrote about the crush I have in school and about my puppy loves. When I fight with my friends and was feeling terrible, I wrote in my diary. When I bunched up with my friends the day after, I wrote about how great it was to have friends. Weird dreams that I had or even some usual days when nothing special happened were recorded down in my diary. They are personal…. or rather, quite personal if I disregarded the fact that my younger sister used to read them everyday as her storybook. Sometimes, for some unknown reasons, I will open this drawer and start flipping through my entries. The papers smell of some old cardboard and the pages are stain with what seemed like rust. I don’t know that papers rust. Dear journal, sorry that I have forgotten about you…

Since 15 or 16 (I could not really remember now), I stopped having books of journals and turned to blogs. Instead of keeping my life and feelings personal, I increasingly make everything in my life public. From Dear Journal to Dear Blog. Hello, the world! I remembered saying, ‘what kind of narcissistic person will like to whole world to know what they are up to!’. I was absolutely against the idea of blogging in the past. It just did not make sense to me. Open diary is no diary at all. The idea of a diary is supposed to be all personal and secret, if you reveal it to the world, there will be nothing secretive about it anymore. It will just become an exhibition of your life.

Well, that was what I thought.

Until today, I still have not gasped the idea of blogging. Cultural theorist, Thomas Mallon concludes that no one ever kept a diary for just himself. The idea is that if you don’t think anyone will ever read it, you will never keep it a habit to write it everyday. If you do write it everyday, it is your motive to hold on to something or someone, to make your everyday seems more real.

Real. What is that??

In my diaries, I did not write in full sentences and my points sometimes(or rather, MOST of the times) didnt make sense. I wrote any words that come to my mind. I was not writing, I was spilling words. Most of the time, they do not really reflect who I was. I wrote them in anger, in sadness… in impulse. However, one thing is clear, I am not trying to impress anyone.

In blogs, I think before I write (while… most of the times). I packaged my writings before I published it and if I feel ashamed of what I wrote the other day, I deleted the entry and made it disappear from ‘the face of the earth’.

Maybe it’s the blurring of public and private in today’s society that makes us think that it is all natural to publish every single trivial thing about ourselves to the public. We are living in an ever more encompassing panopticon that we think it is ok for the government to put up CCTV in every corner of the street, for our friends to constantly know what we are up to in twitter or facebook and for our grades and resume to be kept in a database that is accessible to all.

Just like how MP3 replaces Discman and DVD replaces VCDs, blogs are replacing diaries. There is no right or wrong. Our public life has merged with the private now. There is nothing that people don’t know about you. Your boss can find your private blog or facebook page and know that everything you said in the interview about yourself were crap. Well, face it.

People adapt. We have not said goodbye to diaries, they simply changed name.

I was furious at my sister in the past for reading my diary entries, now… I voluntarily showcase it to the world. The irony.

Because we give more, we expect more from people now. The standards of people to people relationship has changed. instead of sending a letter to say that you are alright, it is now best to send a SMS to report that u are safe the minute you touched down from the plane. last time, it is fine to go without handphone for a day, now… its almost not possible. If you are going overseas, one of the criteria you look for in an accommodation is their Wi-Fi service.  Stay connected is not a ‘once in a while’ thing anymore. You have to be connected 24 hours a day, 365 days a year =)

U want some privacy???

come on! u think u are still in the 90s?! =)

Opps.you mean there’s class today?

Only 5 people turn up for tutorial today.

At 2:10pm, me and my friend enter the empty room with a cup of coffee. The tutor, an experienced man who has lots of practical business experiences to share, has came slightly earlier than us. His agenda for today’s class was already written on the board and yellow post-it notes were pasted on his textbook. He is all ready and prepared; All he need now are his stdents.

5 mins past. It’s now 2.15pm. Tutorial is suppose to start by now. But no.. Nth is going to start with only 2 students.

Another min goes by… One student came in. A French major final yr student. He’s the active one; the one that keeps discussion alive and going. Now, we have got ‘interactivity’ in the room; a crucial element for a management class.

30 seconds later. An exchange student from the states arrived. Making herself at home in the small tutorial room, she took off her shoes and crosses her legs; all ready to begin more informal ‘living room’ conversation.

This is not looking too bad… At least the active students are here… But wait, just 4??!!? It’s pathetic!

Whew! Luckily the late-comer arrived. At 2.20, she dashed into the room, only to see 4 of her classmates in a class that can fit about 15. She’s the ‘noticeable one’ in the class. She speaks her mind and is painfully honest. When a tutor asks something, she will be honest and says, ’sry, I haven done the readings’. Then, minutes later when she skim through the readings, she will be throwing out answers.

This is what happen to a clsss when assignment is due the next day.

One advice for tutor: never expect a full house. It’s nt in your job criteriA.

Somehow, I feel kinda bad for him.

Joe Favreau

Only 27 and he is already working in the white house as the director of speechwriting. Remember Obama’s excellent speeches throughout his campaign and his touching speech in inauguration?  Obama’s speeches are catchy and powerful. He always uses a simple character or narrative to convey sophisticated ideas so that ordinary people can relate and understand. Its simple but bloody powerful.

To be honest, Obama caught my attention not because of the speeches he gave. It was simply the fact that he’s black! However, it was definitely his speeches that made me ‘follow’ him throughout the campiagn. I love to hear him speak.

“IN AWE”

That’s the word i will use to describe his speeches. In awe of Obama’s excellent delivery skill. In awe of how each word is so carefully selected. In awe of how simple his speeches can be, yet so powerful.

Of course, not everybody can be Joe Favreau. It takes a great GREAT amount of talent, intelligence, determination and (of course) some luck to be in the position that he is right now. But he is the perfect example for us, ‘the full of dreams’ 20-year-olds , to get our butt off the ‘day-dreaming chair’ and start working towards our ’seemingly impossible to reach’ dreams. =)

More about Joe Favreau here:

2009 TIME 100: Joe Favreau

Washington post: Helping to write history

WIKI!

Guardian

His Candidate’s Voice

Why do we have pets?

Because friends leave and family members each have their own lives.

Because work mates never get closer than getting drunk

Because diaries don’t respond and tv dramas will ultimately end

Because watching too much dramas out of boredom is tiring

Because turning to facebook and looking at other people living a life makes it worse

Because blog is interpresonal

Because virtual reality is never real..

Because escaping into the fictional world of novels are afterall just fiction too…

Because shopping is too expansive

Because there is nobody in the contact list to call..

Because pets are real, alive, with feelings, personal and loyal.

Because they are always at home waiting for you…

Because pets can’t talk and tell us specifically what they want…

So we choose to believe and assume that they are everything men can’t give..

Selfless

Birthday~

Because it’s yeing’s 22nd birthday (29/04/09) and because we can’t think of a better present for her than being with one another.

Happy Birthday Yeing Yeing.

cynics’ only trust- Reason

Stefan lorenz sorgner summarizes Perter Sloterdijk (renowned German philosopher and a professor of philosophy and media theory):

Romanticism of the open eyes

We live from day to day, from vacation to vacation, from news show to news show, from problem to problem, from orgasm to orgasm, in private turbulences and medium-term affairs, tense, relaxed. With some things we feel dismay but with most things we can’t really give a damn… We would still like to see a lot of the world and in general “to live a whole lot more”

Stephen k amos

Find the funny in everything. Stephen k Amos is currently my new fav comedian.

He prays to Morgan freeman as god, almost died a cheesy death and avoid kids who he claimed are ugly ( note, he accuses everyone out there for lying that ALL kids are cute). He also discrimminate business degree students, aussie ads, Americans, whites and 20 yr old who goes to comedy show with his sister ( ’so uncool’, he said).

People laugh when he is cursing, when is he not cursing; when he is talking, when he is not talking; when he is dancing, when he is not dancing. My cheek practically went flat tired after an hour but I can’t help smiling to myself for the rest of the night.

That’s the power of comedy and that’s why I love love love comedians. Their job is to make people happy no matter how terrible they are feeling. That, to me, is selfless.

Laugh, dont cry?

It’s bullshit. If you are really sad, the more you laugh, the easier the tears will flow. If you can laugh to keep yourself from crying, den maybe things are not as bad as you think it is

Dream- gd?bad?

I know the phrase doesn’t mean this kind of ’sleeping dream’ but really, the dreams that I have in my slp do not make me smile or bring me to the highest level. They were mostly horrifying, terrifying and unbelievably dramatic and action packed. What is my dear unconsious mind trying to tell me?

Dictionary definition of the world’s hardest word

Being a complete geek+nerdy person, I check out the electronic dictionary for the definition of ‘Life’. The thing is, I have heard and read about too many philosophers and their definition to life. They all claim that their view is the best approach to understanding the topic. However,since young, I have learnt that whenever I’m confuse over a word, I should check out the dictionary. Hence, being a ‘Model’ student, I did exactly as I was taught- look up a dictionary for the word,’life’. And guess what! There are 14 definition for ‘life’ but none of the definitions exclude the idea of being alive, experience and process(period of time).

My teacher is right. Dictionary always give the best answer. None of the philosophers has the best approach to life because it is about living through it- To be alive, experience it for yourself and live the process of being alive.

Although there may be millions of personality tests that can group the world’s people into categories, every individual will have their own definition for life; every individuals should find their definition of the word themselve.

Live it. don’t look out the meaning of it like I did.