I feel that Mr Tortaise is laughing at me.

Probably Im laughing at myself.

How can anyone be so stupid.

手酸了，放下就好，對待煩惱，不也是這樣？

My friend stole it from her sister’s blog, and now, i shall steal it from her blog..

..because thoughts like this should be spread around…

能解決的事，不必去擔心；
不能解決的事，擔心也沒用。
在順境中感恩、在逆境中依舊心存喜樂 ……

累了，就把心事放下來

最近認識一位美國籍的出家師父，是個很有趣的事情。
特別是他叫我舉起蕃茄汁，跟他說話的經驗。
我們約在新竹的一家茶館，用英文談論著心經，
師父用英文跟我解釋因果、輪迴這些事情，這都還不稀奇。

有趣的事情在後頭呢！
師父一聽完我跟他提到～個人煩惱的時候，
他索性要我左手提起～他剛買的三罐番茄汁，
一邊提著，一邊跟他說話。
可想而知，我左手感覺到疲勞的程度，跟時間成了正比。
也懊惱著為何師父要我一邊提著三罐蕃茄汁，一邊跟他說話。
受不了這樣的酸楚，我自行把左手放下，
卻聽到師父跟我說：
「 Hold it up, and keep talking to me. 」

聽到這樣的話，心理不免起了疑心，
我手提的那麼酸，
為何不讓我放下手上的重物，輕鬆地與他對談？
約莫過了15分鐘，我的左手實在承受不住了，
才聽見師父跟我說：「Now you can put it down」。
看著我狐疑的臉，師父居然笑了出來。

「你不喜歡提著重物跟我說話， 為何你卻喜歡帶著煩惱，過著你的生活呢？

手酸了，放下就好，對待煩惱，不也是這樣？

或是這些煩惱，就像是那些番茄汁一樣，

是你自己用手把它們給舉起來的呢？」

有趣的經驗，對吧？
最近我開始這樣的練習，
一手舉起有重量的東西，一邊想著事情。
手酸了，自然會放下手上的東西，

看看有一天，我會不會也學到，心累了，就把心事給放下來。

我們能很容易的放下有形的重物，

卻很難放下無形的重擔。

執著的人生～會讓自己承擔莫需有的重擔。
學習放下執著～也就在學習人生自在。

失去的痛。

如果没有拥有过，我就不会感受到没有他的痛了。

我知错了。

知足。这样最好。我不敢在期望甚么了。。

The end, but to be continued…

Not anymore.

On the last day on my 4th year, she says, “Next year will be better. we will tour europe, go melbourne cup, go commerce ball. we will do everything that we have not already done. We wont be sad and loney anymore.”

It keeps me more motivated to suck it up for one more mth. Thank you.

Although my tears still well up pretty often nowadays, I think its okay. I should stop thinking and start noticing the people around me and start doing. Time doesn’t wait for us to feel better, we need to catch up with them and live it to the fullest.

There is no shame in fearing lonliness. face it, fight it and think of ways to make it disappear.

Belonging needs. Muacks~~

Because I’m either in the library, the spot, the lab or cafe looking at management or marketing, i try to apply what i have read to understand my behaviors and others.

Motivational theories say that people are more likely to feel more satisfied and hence, happy when their belonging needs are fulfill. The way I interpret it, everyone yearns to be social butterfly. Next time, when you hear people say, ‘I don’t care how people view me. I don’t need people to like me and there is nothing wrong with being alone”, think about what he/she really meant. Either they are already in a social group or they are feeling so lonely, they are trying to convince themselve that they dont need anyone.

Im in the library now, smelling fried rice (because the person in front of me are enjoying his beloved dinner) and listening to fish leong.

My love says, ” Im so lucky I have you guys as my jie mei”.

In response to what she say, I reply, “I cant imagine having no jie mei”

When I say that, I feel absolutely lucky.

Sure, they are times where Im alone. For god sake, Im alone most of the time thats why I find comfort in studying with a group of strangers in the library or in the cafe. My friend has a favorite spot in the cafe where she is studying. When I asked her why she always sit at that particular spot, she replied, “because I can look at people when Im bored”. I smiled. Its sweet. I love it when people in the lift look at you, smile and says, ‘good morning’. I love it when the barrister smiles and says, ‘Have a nice day’ when he gives me my cup of cappuccino.

If the real world cant fufill our belonging needs, we turn to social sites… facebook, forums… etc. Its sad really…. marketing subject taught us that the internet is considered one of the personal communication channel but I dont feel anything personal about it. How is it personal when I cant hold that person’s hand or greet my friend with a big hug.

Love relationship ends but friendship and kinship doesnt. Thats the beauty of relationship. when one fails you, there is always others that you can fall back on. Or when one one fails you, you can build another one. I can imagine break-ups but I cant imagine loosing my friends. My friend (again) says, “If I were to choose between jiemei and bf, I think Im going to choose jiemei”. Here’s my answer, I think I will choose my jiemeis too (there there, by that, I dont mean people shouldnt treasure their love relationship, it bloody important too=D ). because I honestly cant imagine my life without my loves. People fall out of love and heal because their closest friends are there. You can be a complete bitch and your friends will still like you (oh well… I dunno about others but if you are my friend, and u are being a complete bitch, I will still love you… altho i must say, Im the bitch among my friends most of the time hehe).

Im rumbling.

My point is…

IN CONCLUSION,
We can be the most successful person in the world, but we are nothing if we have no one to share the success.

Try harder

Really… I’m so bloody bad at keeping myself away from… thoughts….

This is my daily routine.
I wake up, shower, change and out.
I lost touch with my house.
Or rather, Im afraid to stay home.

When all you hear is the music in your playlist, the trams, the keyboard and your own breathing, you tend to drift away from these very usual but non-personal noises. You start to think of things that you don’t wanna think about and feelings that you don’t wanna feel. Before you know it, your eyes well up with tears.

What do you do then??

how do you stop the tears from falling, stop your mind from thinking and stop your emotions from overpowering?

You try cooking. You always like to cook. Chinese food is your favourite. You like a hearty breakfast and food are everyone’s best friend… really.Taiwanese lunch bento, big breakfast, pancakes, noodles….The movie ‘julie and julia’ says that no matter what happens or how terrible your day has been, you can always find comfort in cooking but it never fails you.

It doesnt work. They can only keep you occupy for so long.

You try taking pictures. oooo… the pleasure. When you hold a camera, there is always a sense of pride. you look into the viewfinder and find amusement in every single thing. You are able to notice details on the road that you’ve never noticed while walking. cameras are good companion.

But it doesnt work as well. you cant process the photos that you have taken and it cant keep you occupied everyday.

You try what you do best. Hiding under your blanket and let every emotions overwhelm you. You believe that once the lights went off and it is just you under the blanket, you can feel whatever you wanna feel and cry as much as you like. It will stay in that small little room, on that small little bed. Once you get out of if, you will be a whole new fresh person.

But it didnt turn out to be that way. In fact, its making it worse… in ways that I cant explain (for now).

You try to study. Books never fail you. You have always been rather good at it.

You try… but nothing goes into that disappointing mind that is always pre-occupied with thoughts that do you no good.

Then, you find comfort in your friends. One thing that you are proud of and has always been are the fact that you have with you real good friends. Friends that criticize you on your face, laugh at you when you fall down, make you pour your own water and make your own food in their house, agree that you look ridiculous sometimes and hug you whenever you needed one.

They have been the best but i know i shouldnt find them all the time for comfort.

I need to find a way.

I need to feel really happy and excited when something good happens.

Happiness is about being satisfied

 

 

It makes my heart warm everytime I watch it..

i dunno

The tears wont drop le, the anger is gone le and it just seem so selfish to continue being sad when im with other people le… so… tell me what to do..

Mr tortoise

greetings from Mr tortoise

Greetings from Mr Tortoise, man of the car who always looks so helpless. He sits on the front seat of my Toyota all the time; ensuring my safety but never ever helps me out when I need him. I dont blame him though because as you can see…he is already hopelessly helpless himself.  Im just glad that he is always there beside me when Im driving, although he dont even look happy. 

His cute moment captured by my beloved qian.